I, Da Ca$hman's Movie Reviews

U Can't Beat Me Man!


Due to reviewing skills hyper improving throughout the year(s), I organize reviews by when I wrote them by season. Spring 2010, Summer 2011, etc. However unless there is an index, this doesn’t give a very good system for those looking for a specific review of a specific movie. This is a system for those people.

Thanks to the moderator of the ERBoH forum for this suggestion.


As of writing this note, it’s been two years at this website. I’ve typed a lot of good reviews, maybe even great reviews, maybe even reviews I don’t like but everybody else does. I’ve also typed a lot of psychotic, illogical, and while funny, unprofessional reviews. That is why, starting now, every review I do a re-review I will also make sure to delete the original review. This is an exception to my Finding Nemo review, since that was my first review. Since history is to be noted, let me make notes of why those old reviews are important despite being deleted. 

Predators: A one paragraph review where I have literally NOTHING to say.

Iron Man 2: A review showing of my amateur genre bias in Spring 2010; giving a great rating to a mediocre movie for its action scenes, and not to mention a bad parody of “I Am Iron Man.”

Clash of the Titans: Not a bad movie review in terms of readability. I sound sincere. The problem is I wasn't. I forced myself to put it up farther than it was because it was a monster movie. The film isn't drastically worse than I put it to be, but it's still no "smart movie."

Alien vs. Predator: Part me being drunk, part me forcing myself to like the movie due to a single concept, part me forcing myself to like the movie due to the crossover concept, but it's not as horrible as...well...just look down.


Alien 3: Which movie was I watching?!?!?!

Batman:  A review where good intentions of intelligent comprehension did not translate from mind to word. It gives explanation without elaboration, rambles on unimportant points without getting to many other subjects, and doesn’t seem to understand that the character of The Joker is 100% over-the-top. And what was I saying about trading cards and Ice Cream?

Friday the 13th, Part 6, Jason Lives: A review forcing myself to say minimal good things instead of preferred amount of bad things for what is truly an amateur for the Friday the 13th franchise.

Aliens: A very bad review on my part. Where I typed up what might pass for three paragraphs of material now, but separated it into six. There were a couple of cool interpretations of the series, such as how it "shows the misery of people getting sent in[to battle] by Jackasses." Or when I compared the series to an anthology TV Series. Mostly, though, I just repeated a one-sentence conclusion; didn't pay attention to the movie; thought simple things were confusing; and went off topic.

Clash of the Titans: Forcing myself to like a movie that wasn't good at all due to a good reputation, and a rushed review because I [needed to] get the review out in time before I review the 2010 version. Now I had more than enough time and made a good review.

Matango, Attack of the Mushroom People: That review sucked. Trust me.

To Kill a Mockingbird: A review so bad it’s good, extremely funny of a horrible review…but such a good movie doesn’t deserve that. Apparently I thought the movie was from 1964, any different from the book sent it down the gutter, and Tom Robinson’s actor was the best in the movie. By the way, his name’s Brock.

Mothra: Really mediocre review, nothing especially notable, but still pretty bad. “New James Tiberus Kirk City,” did I really make that joke?

The Evil of Frankenstein: My first SUPER long review, mostly because I was ranting about the MPAA most of the time rather than giving an actual review. So it'd'ain't count

The Curse of the Werewolf: Me absolutely loving a mediocre movie because of the concept. The concept being a conflicted antagonist who is not under control, which has been used abundantly and should not instantly give a movie a high rating. Then again, what “concept” should?

The Brides of Dracula: Which movie was I even watching?!?!

Battle in Outer Space: Not a bad review, what I say makes sense. I just barely back it up, because it's only one eight line paragraph. My new review is basically a much finer and MUCH longer version.

The H-Man: A very short review that had some nice moments but an incredibly stupid joke at the beginning just ruined it.

Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein: Possibly overrating the movie, and going way more off topic than I really should have. Even if I should have gone off topic, I did not do it correctly.

Spring 2010 Reviews

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time (2010)

Robin Hood (2010)

A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)

The Losers (2010)

Oceans (2010)

Hubble 3-D (2010)

Magnificent Desolation - Walking on the Moon (2010)

DinoShark (2010)

Alice in Wonderland (2010)

The Princess and the Frog (2009)

Sand Serpents  (2009)

Mr. Troop Mom (2009)

One Man’s Dream (2009)

Iron Man (2008)

The Deader The Better (2005)

The Jersey Odysseys: Episode 1: Legend of the Blue Hole (2004)

Speak (2004)

Finding Nemo (2003)

Kung Fu Werewolf (2001)

Battlefield Earth (2000)

Jumanji (1995)

Apollo 13 (1995)

The Shawshank Redemption (1994)

Leprechaun (1993)

Glory (1989)

Return to Oz (1985)

A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)

Tron (1982)

Caveman (1981)

Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory (1971)

Dogora (1964)

Alice in Wonderland (1951)

Citizen Kane (1941)

20,000 Leagues Under the Sea (1916)

Summer 2010 Reviews

Sharktopus (2010)

Lake Placid 3 (2010)

The Expendables (2010)

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World (2010; never finished, never will)

Salt (2010)

Inception (2010)

The Sorcerer’s Apprentice (2010)

DinoCroc vs. SuperGator (2010)

Grown-Ups (2010)

Toy Story 3 (2010)

Jonah Hex (2010)

The A-Team (2010)

The Karate Kid (2010)

Invictus (2009)

High Plains Invaders (2009)

AVGN vs. NC  Trilogy (2008-2010; never finished, never will)

Lake Placid 2 (2007)

The Pixar Story (2007)

Eragon (2006)

DinoCroc (2004)

Bugs! 3-D IMAX (2003)

Jaws of the Pacific (2003)

Quigly (2003)

Night of the Wolf (2002)

Kill for Thrill (2000)

Toy Story 2 (1999)

Lake Placid (1999)

A Bug’s Life (1998)

Toy Story (1995)

The Next Karate Kid (1994)

Of Mice and Men (1992)

Aladdin (1992)

Ghostbusters II (1989)

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)

The Naked Gun: Files from the Police Squad (1988)

Jaws: The Revenge (1987)

Spaceballs (1987)

The Karate Kid Part II (1986)

Commando (1985)

The Goonies (1985)

The Last Starfighter (1984)

The Karate Kid (1984)

Jaws 3-D (1983)

E.T. The Extra Terrestrial (1982)

Conan the Barbarian (1982)

Jaws 2 (1978)

Apache[s] (1977)

Jaws (1975)

Space Amoeba (1970)

Jason and the Argonauts (1963)

Dementia 13 (1963)

Black Friday (1940)

Gone With the Wind (1939)

Halloween 2010 Reviews

Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hole (2010)

Friday the 13th (2009)

Freddy vs. Jason (2003)

Friday the 13th: Part 10: Jason X (2002)

Friday the 13th: Part 9: Part IX: Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday (1993)

Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989)

Friday the 13th: Part VII: The New Blood (1988)

Friday the 13th: Part VI: Jason Lives (1986)

Friday the 13th: Part V: The New Beginning (1985)

Friday the 13th: Part IV: The Final Chapter (1984)

Friday the 13th Part 3-D (1982)

Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981)

Friday the 13th (1980)

Winter 2010-11 Reviews

The Green Hornet (2011)

Gulliver’s Travels (2010)

True Grit (2010)

Tron: Legacy 3D (2010)

Gary Potter 7: The Old Marshmallow: Part Fun (2010)

Unstoppable (2010)

Skyline (2010)

The Wrestler (2009)

The Wizard and the Ring from the Museum (???)

Signs (2002)

Contact (1997)

The Fifth Element (1997)

Back to the Future Part III (1990)

Back to the Future Part II (1989)

The Color Purple (1985)

Spies Like Us (1985)

Back to the Future Part I (1985)

Better Off Dead (1985)

Mad Max (1979)

Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1977)

Gamera vs. Monster X (1970)

Attack of the Monsters (1969)

Destroy All Planets (1968)

War of the Monsters (1966)

Gamera the Invincible (1965)

Spring 2011 Reviews

Pirates of the Caribbean 4: On Stranger Tides (2011)

Fast Five (2011)

African Cats (2011)

Rio (2011)

Source Code (2011)

The Adjustment Bureau (2011)

Battle OF Los Angeles (2011)

Rango (2011)

I Am Number Four (2011)

The Eagle (2011)

The King’s Speech (2010)

Iron Man 2 (2010)

The Day The Earth Stood Still (2008)

Cloverfield (2008)

A Day Without a Mexican (2004)

Please Vote for Me (2002)

The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996)

Leprechaun II (1994)

Lord of the Flies (1990)

The Land Before Time (1988)

Enter the Dragon (1972)

Lord of the Flies (1963)

The Day the Earth Stood Still (1951)

Abbott and Costello Meet the Invisible Man (1951)

The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1923)

Summer 2011 Reviews


Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2011)

Cowboys & Aliens (& Indians) (& Indiana Jones) (2011)

Cap’N ‘Merica: Tha 1st AVENGAH!!!! (2001)

Garry Potter and the Old Marshmallow: Part Tooth (2011)

The Green Lantern (2011)

Super 8 (2011)

X-Men: First Class (2011)

Thor (2011)

X-Men: Origins: Wolverine (2009)

The Day The Earth Stopped (2008)

X-Men 3: The Last Stand (2003)

Godzilla’s Final War (2004)

Godzilla X Mothra X Mechagodzilla (X Kameobas) (X Kofi Kingston) (2003)

X2: X-Men United (2002)

Godzilla X Mothra X King Ghidorah (X Baragon) (X Beast Boy): Giant Monsters All Out Attack (2001)

Godzilla X Megagirus (X Meganula) (X Meganulon) (ft. Mutant Ninja Turtles) (2000)

X-Men (2000)

Godzilla (and M.O.G.U.E.R.A.) vs. SpaceGodzilla (ft. Godzilla Jr.) (ft. Fairy Mothra) (ft. Mothman) (1994)

Robin Hood: Men in Tights (1993)

Godzilla (and Fire Rodan) vs. Mechagodzilla II (and Garuda) (ft. Godzilla Jr.) (ft. Frankenstein Jr.) (1993)

Godzilla and Mothra (and Battra) (and Batman) (1992)

Godzilla vs. King Ghidora(h) (and Mecha King-Ghidorah) (ft. Godzillasaurus) (ft. Dorats) (ft. Dr. Doom) (1991)

The Blues Brothers (1980)

Godzilla vs. Hedora(h) (1971)

Destroy All Monsters (1968)

War of the Gargantuas (Frankenstein’s Sons) (Gaira vs. Sanda (vs. Giant Octopus) (vs. Galvinizer)) (1966)

Ebirah, Horror of the Deep (Godzilla vs. The Sea Monster (and Giant Condor) (and Gizmo Duck)) (1966)

Invasion of the Astro-Monster (Godzilla (and Rodan) (and Rockslide) vs. Monster Zero) (1965)

Ghidrah the Three Headed Monster (vs. Godzilla) (vs. Mothra) (vs. Rodan) (vs. Robin) (1964)

Mothra vs. Godzilla (Godzilla vs. The Thing) (1964)

Mothra (ft. Vampire Plants) (ft. Abe Lincoln Vampire Hunter) (1961)

Rodan (ft. Meganulon) (ft. Meteor Man) (1956)

Halloween 2011 Reviews

War Horse (2011)

The Adventures of TinTin (2011)

Hugo (2011)


The 2x4 Musketeers (2011)

Real Steel (2011)

Dream House (2011)

Moneyball: Based on a True Story (2011)

Dolphin Tale (2011)

Contagion (2011)

Apollo 18 (2011)

Dracula 2000 (Y2K)

Dracula: Dead and Loving It (1995)

Mary Shelley's Frankenstein (1994)

Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992)

The Monster Squad (1987)

Transylvania 6-5000 (1985)

Nosferatu the Vampyre (1979)

Dracula (1979)

Count Dracula (BBC, 1977)

Young Frankenstein (1974)

Blood for Dracula (1974)

The Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires (1974)

Frankenstein: The True Story (1973)

Dracula A.D. 1972

Dracula vs. Frankenstein (1971)

Count Dracula (1970)

Taste the Blood of Dracula (1970)

Assignment Terror (1969)

Frankenstein Must be Destroyed (1969)

Dracula Has Risen From the Grave (1968)

Mad Monster Party (1967)

Frankenstein Created Woman (1967)

Dracula: Prince of Darkness (1966)

Billy the Kid vs. Dracula (1966)

Frankenstein Conquers the World; or; Frankenstein vs. Baragon; or; Frankenstein vs. The Giant Devilfish; or; Pardon me, your Tentacles are in my Soup (1965)

The Evil of Frankenstein (1964)

The Brides of Dracula (1960)

Frankenstein 1970 (1958)

The Revenge of Frankenstein (1958)

Frankenstein’s Daughter (1958)

Horror of Dracula (1958)

The Curse of Frankenstein (1957)

Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948)

House of Dracula (1945)

House of Frankenstein (1944)

Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man (1943)

Son of Dracula (1943)

Ghost of Frankenstein (1942)

The Wolf Man (1941)

Son of Frankenstein (1939)

Dracula’s Daughter (1936)

The Bride of Frankenstein (1935)

Frankenstein (1931)

Dracula (all three 1931 versions)

Nosferatu (1922)

Frankenstein (1910)

TRI1 2012 Reviews

The Cabin in the Woods (2012)

Wrath of the Titans (2012)

Jules Verne's The Mysterious Island (2012)

Chronicle (2012)

The Artist (2011)

Ironclad (2011)

The Cyclops (2011)

Season of the Witch (2011)

Titanic II (2010)

Clash of the Titans (2010)

Zombieland (2009)

Pontypool (2009)

Seven Pounds (2008)

Dr. Horrible's Sing-A-Long Blog (2008)

The Prestige (2006)

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)

The Room (2003)

Finding Nemo (2003)

About Schmidt (2002)

Leprechaun 3 (1995)

Pulp Fiction (1994)

Fire in the Sky (1993)

Highlander (1986)

Rambo: First Blood Part II (1985)

First Blood (1982)

Clash of the Titans (1981)

The Taking of Pelham One Two Three (1974)

2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)

What's Up Tiger Lily? (1966)

To Kill a Mockingbird (1962)

TRI2 2012 Reviews

The White Knight Falls to his End (2012)

The Fucking Amazing Spiderman (2012)

Piranaconda (2012)

Prometheus (2012)

Snow White & The Thunder Gods (2012)

Men in Black to the Future (2012)

The Avengers (2012)

Predators (2010)

The Dark Knight (2008)

John Rambo IV: Return to Hell's Final Battlefield (2008)

Spiderman 3 (2007)

A.V.P.:R-Un:R[4.0]{BETA} (2007)

Batman Begins (2005)

Spiderman 2 (2004)

Alien vs. Predator (2004)

Attack of the Clones (2002)

Men in in Black (2002)

Spiderman (2002)

The Phantom Menace (1999)

Batman & Robin (1997)

Alien Resurrection (1997)

Men in Black (1997)

Batman Forever (1995)

Alien 3 (1992)

Batman Returns (1992)

Predator 2 (1990)

Batman (1989)

Rambo III (1988)

Predator (1987)

Aliens (1986)

Return of the Jedi (1983)

Scarface (1983)

The Empire Strikes Back (1980)

Alien (1979)

Star Wars (1977)

3 Dev Adam (1973)

Godzilla's (and Minya's) Revenge (against Gabara) (1969)

King Kong (and Gorosaurus) (and the Giant Sea Serpent) (and Mechani-Kong) Escape (1967)

Son of Godzilla (1967)

King Kong vs. Godzilla (1962)

Gorath (1962)

Battle in Outer Space (1959)

The Mysterians (1957)

Scarface: The Shame of a Nation (1932)

TRI3 2012 Reviews

The Hobbit: Part One: An Unexpected Journey: The Movie: Take Two (2012)

Rise of the Guardians (2012)

Life of Pi (2012)

The Scorpion King 3: Battle for Redemption (2012)

Frankenweenie (2012)

Lake Placid 4: The Final Chapter (2012)

Camel Spiders (2012)

The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (2008)

The Scorpion King: Rise of a Warrior (2008)

The Corporation (2003)

Godzilla Against Mechagodzilla (2002)

The Scorpion King (2002)

The Mummy Returns (2001)

The Mummy (1999)

Sayonara Jupiter (1984)

The War in Space (1977)

Godzilla (and Jet Jaguar) vs. Megalon (and Gigangirus) (1973)

Daigoro vs. Goliath (1972)

Godzilla (and Angirus) vs. Gigan (and King Ghidorah) (1972)

The Night of Counting the Years (1969)

Latitude Zero (1969)

The Curse of the Mummy's Tomb (1964)

The Mummy (1959)

Abbott and Costello Meet the Mummy (1955)

The Mummy's Curse (1944)

The Mummy's Ghost (1944)

The Mummy's Tomb (1942)

The Mummy's Hand (1940)

The Mummy (1932)

Drankenstein Manathon II

The Wolfman (2010)

Frankenstein vs. the Creature from Blood Cove (2005)

Frankenstein (2004)

Dracula 3000: Infinite Darkness (2004)

Dracula II: Ascension (2003)

Shadow of the Vampire (2000)

An American Werewolf in Paris (1997)

Nadja (1994)

Wolf (1994)

The Bride (1985)

An American Werewolf in London: The Monster Movie (1981)

Frankenstein and the Monster from Hell (1974)

The Satanic Rites of Dracula (1973)

Scars of Dracula (1970)

The Horror of Frankenstein (1970)

Frankenstein Meets the Space Monster (1965)

The Curse of the Werewolf (1961)

The Return of Dracula (1958)

House of Wax (1953)

She-Wolf of London (1946)

The Return of the Vampire (1944)

Werewolf of London (1935)

The Mystery of the Wax Museum (1933)

Phase One 2013 Reviews

Oedipus the King in a Nutshell (2011)

Spirited Away (2001)

Donnie Darko (2001)

Memento (2000)

Ladyhawke (1985)

Raging Bull (1980)

The Jerk (1979)

Jesus Christ Superstar (1973)

Diamonds are Forever (1971)

The Belles of Hell (1969) (On Her Majesty's Secret Service)

The Producers (1968)

Casino Royale (1967)

Longitude 78 West (1965) (Thunderball)

Goldfinger: The Richest Man Alive (1964)

Matango: Attack of the Mushroom People (1963)

From Russia with Love (1963)

Atragon (1963)

Dr. No (1962)

Varan the Unbelievable (1958)

The H-Man (1958)

Casino Royale (1954)

Phase-2 2013 Reviews

Iron Man III (2013)

Mud (2012)

Gangs of New York (2002)

The Undertaker's Wind (1973)